“My son is 13 and wants to live with me. Doesn’t he get to decide?” New Braunfels parents ask us this all the time, and the honest answer is: his voice matters, but he does not get the final word. Texas law gives children 12 and older a way to be heard in a custody case, and lets judges hear younger children too, but the decision still belongs to the court and rests on the child’s best interest. Here is how it actually works in Texas and in Comal County cases.
The Texas Rule on Child Interviews
The key statute is Texas Family Code § 153.009. In general terms:
- In a nonjury trial or hearing, if a party applies for it, the judge must interview a child 12 or older in chambers to learn the child’s wishes about conservatorship, possession and other issues.
- The judge may interview a child younger than 12.
- The interview does not take away the court’s discretion. The judge decides what is best for the child.
- A party can ask that the interview be recorded, and the judge may allow attorneys to attend in some situations.
The interview is usually informal. A judge may ask about school, friends, routines in each home, and what the child likes and worries about, rather than asking “Which parent do you choose?”
The Child’s Wish Is Evidence, Not a Vote
A child’s preference is one piece of the best-interest puzzle. Judges commonly weigh:
- Maturity. A thoughtful 15-year-old is treated differently than an anxious 12-year-old.
- Reasons. “Dad lives closer to my school and my friends in New Braunfels” carries more weight than “Mom makes me do homework.”
- Consistency. A preference expressed over time counts for more than a sudden change after an argument.
- Influence. Signs that a parent pressured, bribed or coached the child can backfire.
- Safety and stability. A child’s preference will not outweigh evidence that a home is unsafe.
Courts also know that teens sometimes prefer the parent with fewer rules. That does not mean the preference is ignored, but the judge will look at why.
Jury Trials Work Differently
Texas allows a jury to decide certain custody questions, including which parent has the right to designate the child’s primary residence. The judge interview procedure under § 153.009 applies to nonjury hearings and trials. If your case is headed to a jury, the child’s views may come in through other means, and you should discuss strategy carefully with your lawyer.
Other Ways a Child’s Voice Reaches the Court
Interviews are not the only path. Depending on the case, the court may appoint:
- an amicus attorney, who assists the court in protecting the child’s best interest
- a guardian ad litem, who investigates and makes recommendations
- an attorney ad litem for the child in some cases
- a custody evaluator or social study professional, who meets with the family and reports to the court
These appointments add cost, but they can give the judge a fuller picture than a short interview.
Using a Child’s Preference to Modify an Order
A child’s preference can also support a modification of an existing order. Texas law recognizes that an older child’s expressed wishes about primary residence can be part of the basis for a modification request, but the court must still find the change is in the child’s best interest. If the original order was signed less than a year earlier, other requirements may apply, including a supporting affidavit.
When a teen “votes with their feet”
Sometimes a teenager simply moves into the other parent’s home. Parents then live by an informal arrangement that does not match the written order. That creates risk:
- the written order still controls possession and child support
- the parent receiving support may be owed payments even while the child lives elsewhere
- either parent could be subject to enforcement
If your family has already shifted, update the order through an agreed modification or a contested case. The child support modification page explains how support may change too.
How New Braunfels Parents Can Protect Their Children
Being part of a custody case is hard on kids. Practical guidance:
- Do not discuss the case details with your child, including court dates, allegations or money.
- Do not ask your child to pick. Let the process work without putting your child in the middle.
- Do not promise outcomes. If a teen expects to move and the judge says no, a broken promise can hurt.
- Support counseling if your child is struggling. A neutral counselor gives the child a safe place to talk.
- Keep both homes predictable. Stability is what children usually want most.
Our guide on telling the kids has more ideas for age-appropriate conversations.
What to Expect in a Comal County Custody Case
Each judge has their own approach to child interviews, including whether they interview children at temporary orders hearings or only at final trial, and how they handle recording. Your lawyer should know how to raise the issue in a way that fits the court’s procedures and protects your child. If you believe your child’s voice matters to the outcome, discuss it early, so it can be raised at the right time. Our guide to preparing for court explains what hearings generally look like for parents.
Temporary Orders and the Child’s Voice
Many custody cases begin with a temporary orders hearing that decides where the child lives while the case is pending. Whether a judge will interview a child at that early stage varies. Parents sometimes assume the child’s preference will be raised at the first hearing and are surprised when it is not. Talk with your lawyer about timing, because a temporary arrangement that works well for months can carry weight at final trial.
When Siblings Disagree
Brothers and sisters do not always want the same thing. A 14-year-old may want to live with one parent while an 8-year-old is settled with the other. Texas courts generally prefer to keep siblings together, but that is not an absolute rule. A judge may consider each child’s wishes, the bond between the siblings and whether a split arrangement would harm any of them. If your children disagree, think carefully before asking a court to separate them.
Talk With a New Braunfels Family Law Attorney
Your child’s feelings deserve to be heard in a way that respects their age and protects them from the conflict. Our family law team helps Comal County parents present children’s wishes appropriately and avoid mistakes that can backfire. Call (830) 302-4071 for a free consultation. We speak Spanish.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a 12-year-old decide where to live in Texas?
No. A child 12 or older can ask to be heard and the judge must interview the child in chambers if a party requests it in a nonjury trial or hearing, but the judge decides. The child’s wishes are one piece of evidence about best interest.
Will my child have to testify in open court?
Usually not. Texas judges commonly talk to children privately in chambers, sometimes with a court reporter present. Putting a child on the witness stand in a custody case is unusual and often discouraged.
Can the judge talk to a child younger than 12?
Yes. A judge may interview a younger child but is not required to. Some judges rely on an amicus attorney, guardian ad litem or custody evaluator to learn a younger child’s views.
Can my teenager stop going to visits with the other parent?
The order still binds the parents, even if the teen refuses. The primary parent must make the child available as the order requires. If the situation is serious and lasting, the right move may be a modification.
Should I tell my child what to say to the judge?
No. Judges are experienced at spotting coached children, and coaching can badly damage the coaching parent’s credibility. Let your child speak honestly.
Last reviewed November 13, 2026. General information only, not legal advice.